Gimana Keadaan Imanmu Sekarang?

How are you guys during this Covid situation? Pada naik semua berat badannya? kwkwkw. For our family, things have been interesting. Not easy, but Tuhan selalu menyertai. Sebetulnya gue banyak kerjaan (as usual) but I want to use this time to encourage you guys, mo cerita what God has been doing in our lives, how God show His faithfulness. And I hope my testimonies nguatin kalian yg imannya lagi butuh dikuatin.

Well, I’m not saying that my faith is strong. My faith and my walk with God juga sering banget diserang. Gue sometimes masih worry a lot. Takut gini takut gitu, takut kedepannya gimana. Tuhan masih dealing with me in that area, until today. Tapi Tuhan itu keren lah ya cara kerjaNya, ada aja mukjijat2 yg Dia lakuin buat gue. Gue mo cerita beberapa mukjijat dan revelation yg gue dapet recently and last year.

As you guys know, two years ago, we moved church (our home church for almost 20 yrs) and karena itu, si G juga resign dari kerja di gereja. Karena emang ga bisa kerja di gereja yg bersangkutan kalo dah pindah gereja kan. So, for a while, our family cuma single income, yaitu cuma saya alias daku seorang. Salah satu reason kenapa gue delay begitu lama untuk pindah gereja (padahal Tuhan uda ngomong berkali2), ya karena gue worry kalo G resign, then our income gimana. Gue selalu bilang ke G, pindah gerejanya kalo dah dapet kerja baru aja. And ternyata G ga dapet2 kerja laen hahaha. Sampe Tuhan akhirnya kasih ultimatum yg lumayan keras, baru akhirnya gue berani ambil langkah iman untuk pindah gereja.

The first few months berat karena income jadi menurun drastis. There was one Friday pas lagi dikantor, gue baru inget kalo we didn’t have enough to pay rent. Kurang $650an. And we needed to pay the rent on the following Monday. Wah gue panik donk. Soalnya kalo rent telat, kita kena denda perhari sampe kita bayar full. Gue mikir2 cari jalan keluar. Gimana kalo gue pinjem dari sini, dari sono. Gimana kalo gue minta advance salary dari kantor gue. Gue bilang ama boss gue aja lah, kalo gue mo ambil salary dulu.

Ini smua terjadi pas lagi di kantor. Gue uda mau samperin boss di ruangannya yang tempatnya cuma di sebelah ruangan gue doank. Tapi tiba2 ada suara in my heart yg bilang, “Those who wait for the Lord, will not be put to shame.” Suaranya jelas banget! Trus somehow gue jadi diingatkan. Boss gue itu orang Kristen, dan dia tau G itu pastor (disclaimer: sekarang G uda ga jadi pastor lagi ya, karena dah pindah dari gereja yg ordained dia). Jadi kalo ada temen atau client kita yg Kristen, Boss gue itu suka ngenalin gue as a pastor’s wife ke mereka.

Nah kalo gue samperin boss gue and bilang gue mo ambil advance salary karena ga bisa bayar rent, what do u think he will think? It’s not about saving face, but dimanakah posisi kita sebagai hamba Tuhan yg melayani Tuhan dengan setia di ladangNya. Masa sepertinya Tuhan yang kita layani ga bisa mencukupi our needs? Kalo gue begitu, I didn’t show that God is a supernatural God who can do supernatural provision! I’m not condemning anyone here kalo one of u ada yg harus pinjem or ambil salary dulu. Kalo memang Tuhan ga ngomong apa2 ke kalian, ya go ahead. Jgn follow my conviction. Pokoknya yg jelas Tuhan ngomong gitu ke gue, that gue ga boleh berbuat apa2 selain nunggu Dia move.

He was dealing with me.

The voice that said ‘Those who wait for the Lord, will not be put to shame” semakin kenceng and I really couldn’t ignore it! So gue ga jadi deh samperin si Boss dan gue harus pegang kuat2 perkataan Tuhan tadi. I must not do anything else other than waiting for God to move. Ya deg2an donk gue. Gimana kalo sampe Senin, nothing happened??? But yah gue stop semua imagination gue and ambil keputusan, “I will not do anything because He told me so!” Susah bgt ambil keputusan itu, but ya gue nekad aja lah! Pokoknya Tuhan yg bakal beresin.

Nah itu kan hari Jumat. And after pulang kerja, gue and G ada persekutuan sama salah satu family yg kita uda layani selama beberapa tahun. Ya kita sharing, worship seperti biasa dll. Sehabis persekutuan selesai, and out of the blue, mereka wanna bless us. You know how much they gave us?

$700!
Pas buat bayar sisa rent yang kurang for Monday!

Waktu gue tau jumlahnya, oh my God! It’s not about gue dapet duit, but it’s more like oh my Lord! The amount is exactly what we need! And padahal baru tadi siangnya gue sempat panik, mo cari jalan gimana bisa bayar rent. Eh a few hours later at night, Tuhan supply what we needed, pas lagi amountnya! No wonder Tuhan kasih gue ayat itu. Coba kalo gue used my own wisdom and ways, I might miss this wonderful work of God happening in my life!

This was just one miracle among many supernatural things that God had done in our family. Tuhan emang luar biasa dan setia.

These past few weeks berturut2, gue juga alamin beberapa hal yg sepertinya sepele banget. But I know semuanya ini kerjaanNya.

  • Gue tiba2 pingin makan kueh tutu. Tiba2 a few days later, temen kantor gue bawain kueh tutu ke kantor. Padahal for the past 5-6 taon gue dikantor ga ada yg pernah bawa kueh tutu.
  • Gue lagi ngidam makan risoles and didnt tell anyone. And di spore kan ga gampang cari risoles. But about one week later, someone kasih kita risoles.
  • Gue lagi pingin makan lemper, and few days later, ada yg ngirimin lemper ke rumah.

Luar biasa ya Tuhan! huHAuAUHA dan smuanya ttg makanan! kwkwk He knows His daughter well. Padahal ini smua kan sepele ya, hal2 yg kayak ga penting bgt gitu loh. But He was saying to me, yg kecil2 aja Aku perhatiin, apalagi yg besar.

Terus kemaren ada satu lagi kejadian. Sepertinya coincidence, but I dont believe in coincidence.

Kita kan baru buka cafe about 3 bulan yg lalu. Buka cafe dijaman Covid gini luar biasa challengenya. Yah kita ga tau kalo bakal ada pandemic, pas uda buka, eh pandemic terjadi.

Gue biasanya yg bayar2 para driver yg do our deliveries. Yesterday I was supposed to transfer $16 ke salah satu adhoc driver. Kan gue transfer ke hp number and ternyata salah pencet nomer, jadi malah ke transfer ke orang yg namanya Jerry Tan. Pas gue sadar kalo itu salah, I couldnt track back nomer telpnya to get a refund from him. Yah sudah lah, anggep aja our cafe bless that Jerry Tan. Gue ga tau sapa tuh orangnya. Yah sapa tau mungkin dia lagi butuh duit kali. So I let it go. Then sorenya, ada customer yg order makanan dari cafe kita sebanyak $100, seumur2 cuma sekali aja ada orang yg order segitu banyak dari cafe kita. And this was the second time and guess what his name was,.. Jerry Tan! And dia bukan the first Jerry Tan yg gue salah transfer. This second Jerry Tan uda lama follow our cafe and pingin order but baru kmaren pertama kali dia order. To me, it was amazing! From all days, knapa baru kmaren this second Jerry Tan order dari kita, after gue ‘lost’ money to the first Jerry Tan. And of all names, knapa namanya bisa sama! Why not Jerry Tang, or Jerry Lee.

I dont believe in coincidence. Mungkin ini ga make sense bagi kalian, but to me saat itu God sepertinya kayak ngomong ke gue, “I’m always watching over you. What you think u lost is not comparable to what I’m giving you.”

Tuhan pake orang yg namanya sama to ‘return’ the money, dan jumlahnya lebih banyak! Tuhan used the same name so that I noticed! Kalo namanya beda kan gue pasti ga notice!

He is showing me that He pays attention even to the small unimportant things. He wants me to trust Him for the BIG ONES. That He is preparing and doing something.

Trus ayat ‘Those who trust in the Lord will be joyful’ slalu kena ke gue.

During this COVID situation, banyak yg lose their job, financial crisis etc.
You know what, this is actually the perfect time to see what our faith is made of.

We will see our true character and the true anchor of our faith. Apa our security bergantung sama our finance, our career, our asset?

Trust in Him means 100% trust in His character. That He is faithful. 

Di ayat yg bilang, those who trust in the Lord will be JOYFUL, joyful means a state of mind that is full of joy, resting, peaceful, hopeful and bebannya ringan. 

A state of mind that is full of PEACE. 

Trus Tuhan bukain… PEACE is a weapon of spiritual warfare. For all we know, in the world, yg namanya war is full of chaos. Weapon of war should be yg kayak pedang or gun, anything that bring chaos in the world. But then the Word said,…

For though we live in the world, we do not WAGE WAR as the world does. 

Jadi kita berperang gak seperti how the world does war. War in the world biasanya full of action, quick, etc. Tapi kita berperang dengan our weapon of war yang sepertinya foolish kalo diliat orang dunia, weapon yg quiet and gentle, yaitu PEACE. 

Sangat kontradiksi kan? Perang kok malah kita ga berbuat apa2 sepertinya. But…

The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. PEACE has divine power to tear strongholds!

PEACE means kita trust 100% in God for every area of our lives. And that is such a powerful spiritual weapon.

Now is the best time to exercise our faith! To grow deeper and cling to God even more! It’s not about proving our faith to the world, it will make you tired after a while. Karena sepertinya harus show the world that your faith is strong etc. But it is not about that. It is about seeking Him even more. The more we spend time with God, people will see the fruits. Peace and joy will come naturally, and we do not need to prove our faith to the world. They will see it without us need to prove it!

The faith that we have and the action that we do should be the fruits from spending time with Him, listening and doing His Word. 

You know what, when I was writing this blog, tiba2 si Lyon (skarang uda umur 5 taon) samperin gue and bilang gini… 

Lyon: Mommy, just now God talked to me. He said live The Word everyday. The Word is here. And the evil bad guy also talked to me, he said Kill The Word. But I dont want to listen to him. I listen to God only. 

Wow, from the mouth of a little one!

Pas banget, during my saat teduh tadi, gue dapetnya that God is always here with me. And saat Lyon bilang, “The Word is here” Wah gue merinding disko banget! Do you know that The Word refers to JESUS?

THE WORD IS HERE! JESUS IS HERE! JESUS IS ALWAYS WITH US! HE NEVER LEAVE NOR FORSAKE US! NEVERRRRRR!! 

That is the PEACE. He is the Prince of PEACE. 

PEACE is always with us. In us. So that’s what make us JOYFUL everyday. Karena Prince of Peace walking with us everyday. That is amazionggggg! When you know and sadar kalo the Prince of Peace is always with you, everything changes. The way we see the world is different, the way we handle challenges is different. Our part is just to be concious of Him in everything.

We are never alone.

So, bagaimana keadaan imanmu sekarang? 🙂

6 Responses to “Gimana Keadaan Imanmu Sekarang?”


  1. 1 Anonymous June 15, 2020 at 12:22 am

    Thank you cici… 💝

  2. 3 Nanda June 16, 2020 at 1:03 pm

    inspirasi selalu ci…

  3. 5 Odi June 17, 2020 at 10:22 pm

    Sebelum baca ini, aku lagi dilema banget ama kerjaan dan hidup aku ke depan. Lagi bingung dgn semua masalah yg ada. Pas bangun tidur , pegang Hp ga tau kenapa pengen buka blognya Cici. Pengen baca” sesuatu yg bisa nguatin, en ternyata ada update’an terbaru. Thank u ci, kisah ini mengajak pikiran ku yg kacau mulai reda dan mengingat begitu bnyak pertolongan Tuhan yg kualami disaat aku kehilangan harapan, takut ini itu dan lain sebagainya.. Seperti Cici,, soal makanan itu saya juga pernah ngalami 😅. Saat saya pengen makan apa gitu, saya cari cari ke sana kemari, eh besoknya ada temen yg kasih cuma cuma. Tuhan emang gak pernah terselami, tepat pada waktu-Nya meski kadang ngeri” sedap juga.


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