I came across this article by one mommy.
Really good read.
Memang Aiden anak yg ga begitu susah dijaga, compared to other hyperactive kids. But of coz, kids being kids, mana ada sih anak kecil yg bisa diem nurut selama 24 jam. Of coz Aiden ada tantrum moments. Or just simply ga mau dengerin gue. Disuruh pake baju, malah telanjang lari2, sambil ketawa2 sengaja ngerjain maminya. Disuruh bersihin maenannya, malah dilempar2. Or sengaja jalannya dipelannnnn-pelaninnn supaya gue ga sabar and akhirnya gue sendiri yg bersihin wkwk.
Of coz juga ada times where he can be such a good boy. Bisa bersihin maenannya sendiri tanpa disuruh. Bisa pack up his toys before playing with another toys. But ada juga yg bikin gue gregetan rasanya sampe ke ubun-ubun. Cape rasanya ngulang2 terus hal yg sama. Kata2 yg sama. I didn’t actually yell at him, but I definitely raised my voice a bit so he paid attention. So he knows that I meant business. But sometimes, I got frustrated by him. So stumbling across that article was really a good thing. Kena banget deh buat gue.
Karena gue mau inget terus the messages of that article, gue dapet ide buat bikin posternya based on the article. Gue ngikutin poster KEEP CALM itu lho, but kata2nya gue bikin sendiri and juga the graphic atasnya. Graphicnya sih gue dapet dari internet and di adjust dikit hehe. I will print these posters and dipajang deh dirumah.
Yep. Need to remind myself that kids are always watching and observing. Kalo gue pingin Aiden punya a gentle spirit, sabar dll, masa gue isinya kebanyakan teriak2 dan ga sabar ama dia. I have to lead by example because I’m his role model.
Gue inget ada seorang cici cerita, be careful when you are around kids. You think mereka ga notice your behaviour kah? One day, this cici lagi di mobil ama suaminya and their kids. Tiba2 ada telpon masuk, and istrinya yg angkat. Someone was looking for the husband, but the husband ga pingin ngomong sama orang itu so he said to this cici, “bilang aja gue lagi ga ada”… then the kid behind suddenly shouted, “ih papa bo’ong!!!” … wkkwkwkw. Hayo loh! Must practice what we preach, yeah? wkwkkw
Well, seperti kata articlenya,
Misalnya nih, Aiden jatuhin susu segelas, berantakan kemana2. Gue bisa aja marah, but then I can calm down by thinking, “Well, at least, the cup is not glass.” Or, yang paling sering, Aiden numpahin something, but “at least, he is trying to help me…” Kadang2 kan anak2 berusaha bantuin mommy/daddynya, but instead they make a mess. But tapi seringnya kalo kita udah sebel or cape, kita malah marahin mereka. Sebenernya they meant well yah? Poor little misunderstood kids. 😦
Yep, I can’t control Aiden’s reaction or action. But definitely I can control mine. Who’s the adult here? wkkwkw I notice sometimes gue itu control freak. Gue pingin this or that be done in certain way. Gue kadang2 sebelnya itu kalo gue maunya Aiden begini, dianya ga mau. So yah, gue harus remind myself that I cannot control him. Sometimes he has his own way to do things. Meskipun masih toddler.
For example, for the last couple of days, gue lagi ajarin Aiden doa sendiri. Sekarang kalo minum susu, dia bisa doa sendiri, “ta choo fo de cucu. AMENN!!!” (thank you for the susu, AMEN!) Amennya yg paling kenceng. Kadang2 sangking excitednya liat susu, doanya di singkat, jadi cuma teriak “AMEN!!!” wkwkkwkw.
Then kmaren kita mao doa sebelon tidur, biasanya dia akan ngikutin doa kita yg panjang. Kayak the end of every sentences gitu.
Biasanya gue bilang: “Thank you for Heal….” , he will continue with “….ing…,”
“Thank you for break…”, he will continue with, “… truuuu,”
Nah tiap malem kita begini. But last night, gue mao begini kan ama dia, gue udah ngomong, “Thank u for heal…,” eh dia malah nepok2 tangan gue, suruh gue berhenti and dia yg doa sendiri, “ta choo fo ce cusssss” (thank u for Jesus). Gue ok2in. Then gue continue, “Thank u for heal….,” eh dia tepok2 gue lagi suruh berhenti, and dia doa sendiri lagi ‘thank u for jesus’ kwkwkwkw. Gitu terus sampe 10 kali ada kayaknya. Intinya gue ga usah doa, tapi dengerin dia udah bisa doa meskipun diulang itu2 terus HAUEhUAEHAE. Dia mau show to me that he can pray by himself! hehehehe.
Maksud gue, coba kalo gue maksa dia harus ngikutin gue, I will miss this definitely 🙂 But instead I chose to stop and listened to what he was trying to say. Should do this more often.
The reason of me holding back my anger or frustration or saying something harsh is because I dun want to hurt Aiden’s feeling. Apalagi he’s a sensitive little guy. Biasanya kalo gue udah gregetan, gue grab him, stop him from whatever he’s doing, go down to his level to make sure he looks at me and I tell him why he cant do this or that. Biasanya sih dia ngangguk2 ngerti pas gue udah jelasin knapa and I asked him, “understand?” Hopefully dia bener2 ngerti wkwkkw.
Seperti kata articlenya lagi, instead of yelling mendingan find silly alternatives to release the tension. Bisa do jumping jack, or yell in the closet or shout like Tarzan etc. I think I choose jumping jack aja deh, lumayan exercise dikit hehe.
Bisa aja inti masalahnya adalah lagi sibuk banget dikantor jadi cape. Or lagi ada gesekan sama suami, atau lagi perut sakit gara2 mo boker. So the problem is not really our kids. Kasian kan kalo Aiden yang kena marah abis2an padahal kesalahannya sepele.
This happens quite often. Gue lagi sibuk misalnya gitu lagi ngapain. Si Aiden suka ke gue and nepok2 gue. Pas diliat ternyata dia nunjukin ke gue kalo dia did something. Misalnya complete the puzzle, or draw a fish by himself or apaan kek. Must remind self that I should not dismiss him quickly when he looks for me or asking for my attention. He is probably showing me his accomplishment and no parents should miss that. Note to self: if he does showing me his accomplishment meskipun gue lagi sibuk bgt, I must stop, praise and admire it a little bit longer.
Yep, kalo lagi sebel kayaknya enak gitu mandi pake air anget. Should do more home facial deh kwkwkwk.
This one is the most important for me. Gue mao nanti as my legacy, gue dikenal sebagai mommy yg very gracious to her kids. Slow to anger, slow to speak alias ga nagging all the time. When my kids grow up, they remember me as that type of mommy. Kalo anak sendiri bisa ngomong gitu, i think that’s the greatest reward of all. 🙂
Sekarang untuk disiplin Aiden, kita pake wooden spoon buat spank dia. Kita gambar sad face on the spoon and called it Mr. Spanky. Kita kasih tau Aiden, “if you disobey mommy or daddy, you will get a spanking. And you see, Mr. Spanky is sad if he has to spank u.” It works sih. Biasanya kalo dia lari2 ga mau dipakein bajunya, gue nanya, “Do you want Mr. Spanky to spank u?” Dia geleng2, tapi tetep ga mau deketin gue buat dipakein baju. So gue ambil Mr. Spanky and tunjukin dia, baru dia dateng ke gue.
For some reason, for disciplining Aiden, I don’t think Time-out will work for him sih. For sensitive kid like him, kalo di time-out, dia akan merasa rejected instead. Biasanya kalo kita abis marahin dia, dianya pasti mau disayang sama kita.
Nge-didik anak emang ga guampang bok. And we are told that between age 0-6 itu saatnya untuk discipline. Age 6-12, training stage. Age 12 and beyond, friendship stage.
So we, young parents, better make sure we discipline them when they are still very young and mudah dibentuk. Bukan di punish loh ya, but di discipline hehe.
Ini baru punya satu anak. Kalo punya 5 anak, gimana rasanya ya wkkwkwkw….