Excel Noob *edited*

Gue abis iseng2 baca satu website yg isinya joke2 true stories. Real stories yg happened saat costumers called for technical support buat nanyain computer mereka knapa ada masalah. Gue ngakak2 bacanya. Dodooollll buangetttt deh kekekeke

So, I want to share some of the best to you guys…

  • Tech Support: “Ok you should now see a small dialog box on your desktop.”
  • Customer: “I don’t see any box on my desktop.”
  • Tech Support: “Hmmm, are you sure? It looks like a small window with an ‘OK’ button in the middle of it.”
  • Customer: “How can a window be in my desktop?”
  • Tech Support: “Sir, what are you looking at?”
  • Customer: “My desktop like you asked. There’s no box on it, just the computer. However I do have a small window at the top of my wall, but I don’t see anything that says ‘ok’….”


  • Customer: “I can’t seem to connect to the Internet.”
  • Tech Support: “Ah, right. What operating system are you running?”
  • Customer: “Netscape.”
  • Tech Support: “No, what version of Windows are you using?”
  • Customer: “Uhhh…Hewlett Packard?”
  • Tech Support: “No, Right click on ‘My Computer,’ and select properties on the menu.”
  • Customer: “Your computer? It’s my computer!”
  • Tech Support: “No sir, I mean the little picture called ‘My Computer’ on your desktop.”
  • Customer: “I don’t see an icon called that on my desktop. I do see one called that on my screen.”
  • Tech Support: “Right, just right click that, and choose Properties from the menu.”
  • Customer: “Right click?”
  • Tech Support: “Just a moment, sir.” (mutes phone) “AAAAAAAARGH.”


  • Tech Support: “Ok, we need to set up an icon for that program. To do that, I need to get you to your Program Manager–“
  • Customer: “Program manager? Why?!?”
  • Tech Support: “I can’t put an icon up for you to click on if you don’t go to your Program Manager.”
  • Customer: “Hell! I don’t even know who my immediate manager is, much less my program manager!”


  • Customer: “My youngest son was surfing the web last night and to my shock he was at [a British comedy site].”
  • Tech Support: “Yes, what is the problem?”
  • Customer: “The ‘.uk’ at the end — doesn’t that stand for United Kingdom?”
  • Tech Support: “Yes.”
  • Customer: “Just great — I knew it! He’s in trouble now! He was there for almost a half hour! How much does AOL charge for long distance?”
  • Tech Support: “It does not work that way. You can surf anywhere without long distance charges.”
  • Customer: “No, I am sure AOL charges extra. It doesn’t make any sense that they wouldn’t. England is a long way away, they would lose millions not to.”

After trying to explain how the web worked, the customer refused to take my word and said she was going to call AOL. A while later she called back.

  • Customer: “Well, AOL said you were correct; no long distance charge for overseas web sites. I do have another question I thought of after I hung up with AOL.”
  • Tech Support: “Yes?”
  • Customer: “Do you think they charge extra for long distance email?”
  • Tech Support: “Trust me — they don’t.”
  • Customer: “Wonderful! My oldest son works in Sweden. He sends us email, but I was always afraid to reply because I didn’t know how much it would cost, so I just called him on the phone. This will save us lots of money! Still if AOL was smart they would charge for this service.”


  • Tech Support: “How may I help you?”
  • Customer: “I’m writing my first email.”
  • Tech Support: “Ok, what seems to be the problem?”
  • Customer: “Well I can get the ‘a’. But how do I put the circle around it?”


I was working tech support for a university when I got this call:

  • Tech Support: “Hello, tech support.”
  • Customer: “I am ready to send.”
  • Tech Support: “What?”
  • Customer: “I am ready to send.”
  • Tech Support: “What are you ready to send?”
  • Customer: “The file I am uploading. I am ready to send.”
  • Tech Support: “Ooooh-kay…what are you sending?”
  • Customer: “I am submitting a file to you. I selected ‘upload,’ and it said, ‘Ready to receive, waiting for signal,’ so I called you, giving you my signal, so you can begin getting it.”


So gue ketawa2 baca all the entries, until I read this entry below…

I once saw a person with an Excel spreadsheet in front of him. The spreadsheet had a few lists of numbers, and he was adding them manually by punching them into a calculator.

And that is all of the entry.

Loh emang knapa, emang bego gitu ya buka Excel dan ngitung2 pake kalkulator?

Karena gue kan tiap ari nulis duit pengeluaran gue di Excel, and gue ngitungnya manually pake kalkulator.. 😛 I know there is a formula for it yg bisa bikin automatic. Tapi karena gue ga ngerti and males cari2 caranya so gue pake kalkulator aja.. AHEuHAEuHEuHEuAHEe…

Then abis gue baca itu tadi yg diatas, gue langsung buka my Excel spreadsheet and gue coba2 select some columns with the numbers, and wow I was amazed to find out, kalo ternyata …dibawahnya itu ada tulisan sumnya!!! IT’S THAT SIMPLEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

Buat lebih jelas liat poto dibawah ini..

Itu yg kotak hitam yg gue select, and liat kan dibawahnya ternyata kuar tuh sumnya… HAUEhAUEhUAEheuEH gile selama ampir setaon gue manually ngitungnya pake kalkulator, ternyata……. kekekekekke.. DODOL ABIS!!!!!

But gue masih bisa menghibur diri sendiri, karena kan gue anak DESIGN, jadi ga pernah pake EXCEL, jadi ya gue ga tau laaaaahhh!!! 😛

Hmmm.. that will be a lesson bagi kalian2 smua yg juga ga ngerti Excel, hehe… jadi sekarang gue tau deh kalo buka Excel spreadsheet sambil pencet2 kalkulator itu adalah hal yg memalukan.. kekekekkkeke.


6 Responses to “Excel Noob *edited*”

  1. 1 ivon October 23, 2008 at 8:41 am

    BWAHAHAHAHAA…. *gubraks* ciciiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!!! wadohh ternyataaaaaaaaa………..padahal dengan ahli nya dia bikin mosaic dan edit2 gambar…bikin kaos…bikin logo collide…..kekekeeke….emank smua org ada moment culun masing2…coba kl aku lagi tanya cici ttg photoshop kayaknya cici yg gubraks….

    ci ada rumus nya buat di bagian total itu lgs sum up the number biar gak usah tiap hari di sum ci….contoh nya di bagian total itu cici tulis =sum(A1:A7) trus abis di column itu di tulis….cici drag aja ke column2 berikutnya…cara dragnya taro ujung pointer ke bagian kanan bawah kotak biar pointernya jadi simbol +…trus tinggal di click n drag…kl cici drag ntar column yg berikutnya baklaan rumus yg sama ci…

  2. 2 nelotte October 23, 2008 at 8:56 am

    sorry von, pas gue baca comment loe ada tulisan ‘rumus’ ‘=sum (A1:A7’ langsung brain gue shut down… karena otak gue ama math itu tidak bersahabat akrab.

    gue sampe baca beberapa kali, coba digest. Then I tried to do it in the Excel spreadsheet. And jadinya?… tambah kaco, kuar angka2 yg aneh2 dimana2.

    so.. conclusion… gue ama math??? masih tetep musuhan… hAUEhAUEhAUEHUAHEaEe

  3. 3 ivon October 23, 2008 at 9:27 am

    heuehuehuee…gpp deh ci…at least dah di coba…hauhaua walo ga berhasil jg…heuhee eh ci! itu baju retret dibagiin nya disono ya? pikiran mo cuci dulu ahhaha…eh ada main yg basah2 gak sih? enggak ada kan ci? lagi mikir mo bawa brp baju

  4. 4 nelotte October 23, 2008 at 10:06 am

    bawa aja extra clothes

  5. 5 Ws October 27, 2008 at 10:26 pm

    HUAHUAUAHUA gw ketawa pas bagian excel 😛 yang lain ga ketawa 😛

  6. 6 nelotte October 28, 2008 at 2:41 pm



    emang loe tau ya?


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