Tired but alive!

Gue so so so so tired skarang!! Badan gue pegel2. Bayangin aja last week there was almost no rest for me. Balik dari Indo, langsung pegi retret. Jadi sakit pas di retret, tapi ga bisa istirahat coz so busy urusin ini itu. Sabtu kmaren pulang dari retret langsung tepar, tidur jam 5 sore sampe 10 malem, bangun, then tidur jam 12 an. Minggu di gereja was soooo tired too, almost asleep di bahu si Aga anak gue yg empuk hUAEhuAHEuaEe.. pulang jam 3 sore, langsung bobo and bangun jam 10 malem. Tidur lagi jam 2 pagi. Tadi on the way to work, almost ketiduran juga.

Udah tidur begitu banyak, tapi tetep aja cape. And masih sakit. Semaleman kmaren ga bisa bobo, coz coughing2 terus. Suara ilang etc etc.. Tapi pas di retret, udah ga peduliin sih sakitnya hehehe, coz I had so much fun. Apalagi pas praise and worship, udah cuek aja gue sakit dont care, loncat2 terus ama anak2 youth. Tapi skarang kerasa badan gue pegel2 banget. Ya begitulah kalau sudah berumur huhuhu..

Anyways… gue mao laporan hasil gue balik Indo. Seperti biasa, Tuhan luar biasa hehehe. Gue balik becoz my grandma passed away. I wasn’t that close to her, but gue tau gue disuruh balik ke Indo to minister to my dad. Ya gue bisa ngeliat kali ini hubungan gue sbagai anak dan bokap udah mulai dipulihkan bener2. Dulu gue benci banget ama bokap gue karena gue sering di abuse physically. And dia pernah terang2an ngomong didepan gue kalo dia nyesel punya anak kayak gue. Nah sejak gue kenal Tuhan and bertobat, gue bisa ngeliat pelan2 Tuhan rubah sifat2 gue and bokap. Gue dah 3 taun ga liat bokap gue, and kmaren ini pas gue balik, gue bisa liat Tuhan bener2 ngubah semuanya.

My dad and I had a long talk, and saat dia mulai ngaco2 ngomongin yg negatif2 soal nyokap (for ur info: they are separated and not in a gud way) gue bilang gini: “pa, aku ga ngerti soal surat sidang ini itu etc etc, aku dateng kesini bukan untuk itu, aku disuruh Tuhan pulang untuk melayani hati papa.”… eh bokap gue menitikkan air mata loh🙂 so sweet..

And throughout the days gue disana, minister to him, gue bisa nguatin dia with Firman2 Tuhan, and told him apa yg Tuhan mao bilang ke dia, and to my amazement, dia bener2 dengerin loh. Never2 cross my mind, kalau sampe bisa begitu. Sampe, in the middle of me sharing the word of God, dia asked me gini “Nel, kalau papa mau kamu kotbah di gereja papa, kamu bisa? ” .. gue sampe keselek HAEUhaUEhuaHEae.. gile bener…

There was one occassion where I told him kenapa dia bergumul didaerah yg sama for 10 years. Gue bilang aja straight to the point that dia disitu2 terus karena belon lulus, and Tuhan belon liat adanya buah roh yg keluar dari dia, makanya ga lulus2. Then gue ajarin bokap buah2 roh itu apa, and gue tunjukin Firmannya dimana.. Eh pas malemnya, pas lagi di pemakaman granma gue, kan temen2 bokap and sodara2 pada kumpul for 3 days, bokap gue bisa bilang ke temen2 gitu kalau dia lagi diajarin gue ttg buah roh, and manggil gue ke temen2nya buat ngasih tau mereka Firmannya ada dimana etc etc. And bokap gue kalo ngenalin gue ke temen2nya gitu, dia kasih tau kalo gue ini missionaries.. then satu lagi uncle gue yg baru bertobat, dia pas ngenalin gue ke pendetanya, dia bilang gue ini penginjil… huAEHuaheuaHEuae.. gile bener… jadi yah gitu, gue jadi dikenal dikalangan keluarga and temen2 sodara sebagai penginjil and missionaries. Sampe ada uncle gue yg satu lagi, yg paling deket ama gue and udah kenal Tuhan, tiba2 sharing ama gue kalo dia tuh sering depresi, sampe pernah kapan ari mau mikir bunuh diri. And gue bacain Firman buat dia, ama dia dicatet didompet and dihafalin.

So gue pulang ke keluarga gue kmaren ini udah kayak pelayanan aja. Amazing sih. Bener2 gue ga bisa nyangka bisa begini outcomenya. Emang Tuhan itu sanggup memulihkan semuanya ya. Pas gue udah di airport mao balik ke Spore, bokap peluk gue and kissed my cheeks, that was the first time gue ngerasa ada sunken feeling in my heart, kayak ga tega pegi ninggalin bokap. Mana pernah gue begitu dulu2. Sekarang I can finally say that gue bener2 ada rasa sayank ama bokap gue. Setelah memakan beberapa tahun hubungan kita dipulihkan ama Tuhan secara total. And saat gue tunduk ama Tuhan and pulang dengan membawa nama Tuhan, bukan dengan bawa kemauan gue, Tuhan bekerja dengan luar biasa. Ada saat2 dimana gue ama bokap gue bareng, sifat2 lama gue mao kuar, sifat yg rasanya mao bantah, mao marah, tapi gue inget ama Tuhan, and gue tau emosi gue yg kayak gitu definitely bukan dari Tuhan. So gue diem aja, karena gue tau that’s not what He wanted to come out from me. It took a lot of practice, ga gampang sih. Makanya I thank God juga gue pulang ga lama, coz I dont know how long I can last. hehehe.. cape juga lah. But God knows my limit.. lagi di training lah…

But I reli2 thank God for this breakthru. Hubungan gue with my dad now so totally different. Ada kasih.🙂

Hmmm.. breakthru with my dad udah terjadi, and I know soon will be breakthru with my mum…🙂 Liat aja tanggal maennya.

Gue jadi inget ama nubuatannya ps. Amos desember taun 2006 buat gue. Tahun dimana saat keluarga gue hancur. He said abt my family “It seems that it’s already too late for your family, but God is the God of Impossible. Nothing is impossible for Him. Don’t give up. You are a fighter.”

And it’s true. Gue udah bisa lihat skarang, one of the impossibles has happened. And some more coming!! Tuhan keren banget ya.. hehehe

Gue sadar sih, sakit ati bokap ke nyokap and sakit hati nyokap ke bokap itu udah dalemmmmm banget, and cuma miracle Tuhan aja yg bisa bikin mereka balik together lagi. And some of my sodara2 nanyain abt my nyokap yg ga dateng kmaren pas pemakaman, ttg gimana nyokap and bokap lah. Ya gue bilang ke mereka.. “liat aja, mukjijat Tuhan pasti terjadi”. Coz I know dimana saat gue ga bisa melihat ada jalan, gue ga bisa melihat adanya possibility for them to come back together, kuasa mukjijat Tuhan PASTI dinyatakan. And this will be an amazing testimony of the power of God for sodara2 gue yg lain. Amin dah! I dont care how long it will take. Maybe another 2-5 years. Coz ya bitterness mereka udah terkumpul dari abt 20 years ago, so maybe pemulihannya juga akan lama, but I dont think it will take that long. Tapi pasti terjadi mukjijat Tuhan. Stay tune aja with my blog hehehe…

Yah itu secuplikan kesaksian ttg my family for u guys. Untuk kalian anak2 Tuhan yg facing the same problem. Don’t give up. Yesus gue juga sama ama Yesus kalian, pasti Dia akan memulihkan semuanya in His timing. Kita hanya perlu sabar, percaya and tunduk ama perintah2Nya aja and He will do the impossible for us. 🙂

So yeah, after dari Indo balik ke Spore, the next day gue pegi retret ke Malaysia. And di retret gue didoain ama ps. Amos 2 kali. Yg pertama ttg my ministry sih. And I got some confirmations lah exactly what I felt about this year. Ntar deh pas end of this year gue bakal reveal apa itu hehehe.. and he also prayed abt a God-given gift that will come to me yg gue ga pernah bayangin bakal dapet. Gue pernah dapet kesannya sih, but ternyata di konfirm ama ps. Amos.

And yg doa kedua kalinya, something abt my past, yg gue ga begitu ngeh apa maksudnya, but I know kayaknya involved with that certain someone. And abt my ministry juga. But semuanya nguatin deh. Pokoknya retret was awesome.

Last week was busy, this week masih busy juga. Everyday ada meeting. Ntar malem, ada meeting ama Sumba mission team yg kmaren ini, besok Selasa meeting lagi ama youth leaders, rabu ada prayer meeting. Kamis mestinya meeting ama anak youth yg gue mentorin, tapi kayaknya gue postpone abis I need some rest lah. Then Jumat as usual ada cell meeting. Sabtu full day ada training Sunday skul di Johor, yg gue mesti jadi translator on that day. Whoah packnya! Ini mo ke dokter gigi dari kemaren2, buat nambal gigi gue yg bolong aja ga kesampean terus!! huhuhu

Yah physically gue cape banget sih. Tapi spirit gue very much alive! Banyak breakthru and pembukaan2 dari Tuhan. Yg bikin gue so amazed2 terus deh. Tuhan kita emang LUAAARRRR BIASAAAAA YAHHH!!! hehehe

————————————-

“Inilah ketetapan dan peraturan yang harus kamu lakukan dengan setia di negeri yang diberikan TUHAN, Allah nenek moyangmu, kepadamu untuk memilikinya, selama kamu hidup di muka bumi.Kamu harus memusnahkan sama sekali segala tempat, di mana bangsa-bangsa yang daerahnya kamu duduki itu beribadah kepada allah mereka, yakni di gunung-gunung yang tinggi, di bukit-bukit dan di bawah setiap pohon yang rimbun. Mezbah mereka kamu harus robohkan, tugu-tugu berhala mereka kamu remukkan, tiang-tiang berhala mereka kamu bakar habis, patung-patung allah mereka kamu hancurkan, dan nama mereka kamu hapuskan dari tempat itu.” – Ulangan 12:1-3

7 Responses to “Tired but alive!”


  1. 1 Rio March 24, 2008 at 5:07 pm

    Hi Nel, keren banget testimony-nya. Khususnya bagian about keluarga and prophecy, memberkati gw banget. Emang benar Tuhan kita is a faithful God. Janji-Nya pasti di genapi.

    Thanks a lot.

  2. 2 nelotte March 24, 2008 at 7:06 pm

    no problemo bro…

    it’s my pleasure bisa bagi2 berkat… hehe

    All the best!

  3. 3 Rio March 25, 2008 at 2:38 am

    Btw, gw blogrolling ya di my blog. and di tunggu deh for another His-story.

    Bless u.

  4. 4 Lilian March 27, 2008 at 2:06 am

    KHeheheheh Keren abiz BoL….

    Apa yg dikerjakan Tuhan bener2 super super AmaZINnnnG! Pastor gw di gereja pas retreat kemaren bilang “Saat kita menjadi orang Kristen…kita akan GET USED to having MIraCLeS happen in our Lives~” MiraCles yg WonderFUl…yang BeYOnd our Imagination!! Nothing is ImpossiBle with HIm~

    *Muach*

  5. 5 Regina March 27, 2008 at 5:25 pm

    Nelly…thanks a lot for the sharing, gile gw sampe mau nangis, akhir-akhir ini jadi cangeng nih, but ur sharing is very powerful, I can feel GOD’s love for us, ya HE will never leave us, HE is a miracle GOD, we just need to do our part n HE will do HIS supernatural part for us🙂
    Glad to know u here…biar baru kenal tapi I can feel ur warm heart, thanks ya🙂 GOD sees the heart…

  6. 6 nelotte March 31, 2008 at 1:34 am

    hehe.. emang saat kita kenal Tuhan dan kena jamahanNya, bisa jadi cengenggggg abiss.. even the proudest man will crumble in front of HIM🙂

  7. 7 Chiechiet March 28, 2010 at 12:41 pm

    Kisah keluarga loe mirip2 kaya keluarga gw, semoga keluarga gw jg bisa dipulihkan kaya keluarga loe..

    Tp beneran deh nel, gw drtd nangis baca blog loe yg starting loe pelayanan ke penjara di sumba and yg ini jg..(╥﹏╥)


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s




Quote of the week

We are not human beings having spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having human experience.

Archives

Receive Blog Updates!

Add to Technorati Favorites
Page copy protected against web site content infringement by Copyscape

%d bloggers like this: