April 22, 2007
Post kali ini bakalan jadi post yg emo alias melan. 😛 Sesuai dengan suasana hatiku sekarang ini.. hehehe.
For the past couple of weeks, lots of things happened. The best things, the gud things and the ugly things. Particularly these past few days, the ugly things rise up like a leech, i’m trying to shake it off, but masih nempel aja.
The best things yg happened adalah hal2 yg Tuhan bukain ke gue. The vision, the revelation, the annointing. Each of them holds tremendous value. And I feel so so so so honoured to be given such ‘karunia’
The good things are the specific thing that I have been praying for one year starts to take place. Shocking yes, but now I can’t turn back. Udah smakin kecemplung, I have to keep moving on. Scary yes, but God is holding my hands 🙂
The ugly things, …. suck out every ounce of energy I have left. HIS promises become a blur to me. Once I was so certain, once I was so strong. But now, they all seem distant, yes, gue masih mengimani, tapi sekarang semuanya itu seperti bayang2. And that gue tau kalau gue harus rebut kembali itu semua. HIS PROMISES. My family. They start to blame and saling serang and they all misunderstood me. But let God be my defender. 🙂
It has been hard for the last couple of weeks, everything happened at the same time. I am tired. I am tired. I am tired. Tired of being misunderstood, tired of holding on, tired of keeping the faith. I don’t know what to do, I don’t know anymore what to say. So yesterday I came to God and cried out to Him. And HE simply said… “REST in ME”. Just simply rest…. God is amazing, sehabis gue curhat2 gitu ama Dia, and He said that to me, then gue tiap malam kan ada baca buku devotional and bible to accompany. And saat itu gue buka devotional for that night, and u know what it said?… it was clearly written there in that particular devotional for that night,
‘I laid it down in silence, this work of mine
and took what had been sent to me.
A RESTING TIME.
The master’s voice had called me
to rest apart.
“Apart with Jesus only”
echoed my heart’
Then before that gue juga received a devotional in my email… that says..
Yet those who wait for the Lord will gain new strength;
They will mount up with wings like eagles,
They will run and not get tired,
They will walk and not become weary.
Rest in the Lord and wait patiently for Him; Ps. 37:7
See, God is never a second too late. He knows what I need. Amazing sih kmaren, when I read that He told me to just simply rest, everything else kayaknya ga matter. Every storms, every chaos around me tiba2 diminish, coz He let me rest. So yeah kmaren saat dia bilang gitu, rasanya hati ini plong banget and gue langsung ketiduran with tears in my eyes coz Tuhan baek banget. Udah ga baca bible, langsung literally ketiduran holding that devotional book. And itu ga sampe 3 menit.. hAUEhaUehuaEe.
So let me rest for now…. resting in Him. Once I got back my strength fully, I will charge forward again. And I know it won’t take long to get that back. Coz, in HIM, I have found my strength. Tanpa Dia, gue bener2 ga sanggup. But my God is a god of nothing is impossible! 😛
Hide me now
Under your wings
within Your mighty hand
When the oceans rise and thunders roar
I will soar with You above the storm
Father You are king over the flood
I will be still and know You are god
Find rest my soul
In Christ alone
Know His power
In quietness and trust
“God provides resting places as well as working places. So rest & be thankful when He brings you, tired and weary, to streams along the way.” – Streams In The Desert, Charles E. Cowman
“Year 2007 for you will be a year of trusting God and a year of victory. Don’t give up. You are a fighter.” – Pastor Amos. December 2006