lagi dreamy and full of feelings

huhuhu.. gue lagi melankolis nih… hehehe…

lagi tiba2 kangen ama certain someone, yg dah lamaaaa bgt gue ga tau kabarnya. Totally ilank dari peredaran. Rada2 sebel juga abis dia ga bales sms and email. Oh well… ini dasar gue juga lagi ndengerin lagu korea yg melankolis gitu deh, yg mestinya gue cuek2 aja, jadi terserang rasa kangen.. huhuhu. Anyway, this someone is quite special to me sih, he had been there when i needed it, giving encouragements and prayers. And sometimes, when I just dunno who I should talk to, alias withdrawing from anyone, eh tiba2 dia bisa nongol and gave me supports. Amazing… God is always gud yah… but eniway, i just want to say thank u bgt for that special person, meskipun dah ga ada kontak sama sekali, but I will always keep him in my prayers…. ih dasar lagu korea ini nih yg bikin gue beginiiiii….. biasa.. kalo gue lagi mo melan, bisa melan bgtttt..

Lets talk abt personality.. coba ke website ini deh and kalian pick ur picture.

then abis baca profile loe sendiri,baru kalian bisa baca mine. Jadi ga ke ruined gitu lah kalo kalian baca punya gue dulu.

eniway, ini gambar yg gue pilih


    Dreamy     Emotional


You are a very sensitive person. You refuse to view
    things only from a sober, rational standpoint. What your feelings tell you is just as
    important to you. In fact, you feel it is important to have dreams in life, too.


You reject people who scorn romanticism and are guided
    only by rationality. You refuse to let anything confine the rich variety of your moods and


iya gitu deh.. bener juga sih, gue ini die-hard romantic HAUEhuaEhuaHEuhaE… bukan romantis yg kayak dipilem cewe2 yg gimana gitu.. nonono… and i’m a dreamy person, makanya gue suka banget ama game and anime. To me, they are fantasies in my head that have been put to life. And like Wira said, i’m very imaginative. Kalo wira berandai2 apa gitu, gue bisa langsung lanjutin with suasana and gambaran yg lengkap banget hehehe… makanya mimpi gue pun selalu aneh2 and colourful, coz i live in my head most of the time. That is why I like designing, arty stuff. Especially kalo gue liat painting yg gue suka gitu, I can observe every line and every brush stroke, and imagining stuff. Makanya kalo gue ke museum painting/art, bisa lamaaaaa bgt… hUEaUEhAUEe.. bisa bikin orang bete… apalagi kalo ke zoo waaahhhhh, i think kalo bisa nginep, gue mao deh. hehehe..

hmm, i guess i’m a romantic in a sensitive way. An artist lah.. HEuheuAUEHaee.. Actually gue malah sebel bgt ama cheesy romantic movie. Gue malah suka yg little things yg it seems  ga begitu romantis, bagi gue the little things itu yg count. 

One of my dreams juga is to put all my fantasies to life hehehe… Someday, I want to make my own movies maybe, directing, scriptwriting, or even cinematography. tapi gue maonya bukan kayak holiwut movies gitu. Maonya lebih ke Computer Graphics animation. Something like Final Fantasy 7: Advent Children itu. That will be so cooolllll. Maybe gue ga bakalan belajar multimedia, or ga belajar bikin 3D nya. But i want to be one of the brains yg express the characters’ emotions thru colours, motions, frames…

When I was like 14 to abt 20 ish, gue sering nulis stories. And I still keep them till now. Buat kenang2an. So far yg baca cuma adek gue pas dulu bgt… he liked my stories. But now I dont write them anymore. I dont know, I just dont have the time kali.. But all my stories itu animelike.. AHeuHAEuhaEe.. namanya jepank semua. Oh ya gue baru inget, another one yg pernah baca story gue itu si wira. What i can remember, he said, my story is very detailed.. something like tat. By the way wir, it was my first. So, cheesy bgt sih ceritanya HAUEhUAEHUAEe… abt this pianist gal, yg lose her hearing after an accident. Then lose faith in her playing music ever again, then met this guy, who plays violin and he helped her to play again, meskipun deaf gitu… hehehe… quite cheesy deh. Most of my stories kayaknya very melankolis semua. banyak sedih2nya.. AHeuhaeuhauEh kayak pilem korea… heheheheh nangis2 melulu kali. But i hate korean movies. Stories gue sih ga ttg nangis2 melulu, its more abt human experience, struggles and finally win over it.

The one story that I wrote yg gue bener2 suka, is abt this girl. Gangster loh, but gangster in her own right, and she doesnt answer to anyone. Very2 japanese style, namanya aja Shizuka hUEhuheuhaE… Dia carry weapon chain ama ada pisonya di ujung. But, she’s like very alone. No one wants to befriend her soalnya takut. And she doesnt like people to bug her. But some other gangsters want to recruit her, and try every means to do so. Especially this other gang leader yg bisa dibilang sampe obsessi mo recruit and nundukin ini cewe.  Yg ini sih endingnya gue suka bgtttt,… HAEuHAUEhauehe.. i dont want to spoil it here..

*i’m in my own dream world now…. damn.. this korean song!! EehHEhHEHHEeEe*

Jadi inget ama jaman2 komik jepank dulu. Ama Candy2, Pop-corn… Gue dulu gila bgt ama candy2… pas si Anthony mati, gue sampe nangis berhari2.. terus eh si Stea mati juga, tercabik2 deh hatikuuuu.. heuHEUAHEuAHEee… then my favourite girlie komik itu yg judulnya kalo ga salah "Setinggi langit and bintang"(STnB)..wahhhhh my ultimate romantic comic.. AHeuAHEuaHEe… selain city hunter. Gue bahas STnB dulu deh. Ini ceritanya ttg satu ini cewe yg punya power to control water…..Wah gile barusan ini gue berusaha inget2 ceritanya… and gue bisa merindinggg mannnn…abis bagus/romantis bgt lah ceritanya. Keren lagi pake power2 gitu. Anyway, cewenya bisa control water, cowonya control angin, and musuhnya control api. Hihihi.. I feel like a little kid again, relishing those memories. Sounds silly sih.. but well, lagi nostalgia gitu loh.

Gue jadi kangen ama koleksi komik gue. Banyak tuh ada satu lemari buku gede. Cuma pas rumah gue di indo pindah. Ama nyokap tanpa sepengetahuan gue, diloakin semua… sebel…

Then another komik yg gue demen bgt itu judulnya Dragon something. Yg abt a little boy, trying to find/save his mum. Anaknya namanya Kurt punya naga nama Leon. Keren abis… ada ngelawan Medusa segala etc etc… mythical story sih. But very2 touching.

Wah gue bener2 lagi melankolis mood nih… HhheEHheheee

btw, tadi gue bangun tidur, gue kaget. Soalnya gue ngimpi dipeluk ama satu cowo di pukat/cell gue.. HEuHueuaEhAEe… haiyohhhh… nooooo… HAEuhauehaUHeauehe, di mimpinya itu peluknya very2 tight lagi… huhuhu… NOOOOOOOOOOOO… AHeuhAUEhuaHEuahee .. bener2 deh mimpi edan.. but it feels more like a brotherly hug sih.. but stilll…. NOOOOOOOO… huhuhuhu…

wah tiba2 gue kangen ama wira ama benson… my "little brothers".. heheheh…  Benson was very sweet. Pas gue back for gud dari Sydney, he was the only guyfren yg nangisin gue sampe segitunya.. HAEuHEuaHEe.. sampe beringus HAEUhaUEhuAE.. sampe mojok sendirian sok melankolis nyender di dinding gereja, sampe ampir meluk tuh tembok, dengan tampang and matanya yg merah berusaha nahan air mata… HUAEhuehUAHEae.. asli gue ketawa banget sih abis kocak ngeliat dia pas itu, but still it was very sweettttttt hhehehehhe… i miss ur "ketawa-centil" sonnn and our late nite talkings for hours. Especially the times yg dimulai dengan kata2 dari loe sambil merengek2…"Nelllll, gue lagi dilema nihhhh…"..    and the times when u look far to the horizon, sambil ngomong "Nel… *sigh*.. gue lagi feel melankolis bgt nih"… And especially the time when i was in his car, driving me back home malem2 after church. Kita lagi dengerin lagu chinese yg slow (he only listen to chinese), then out of the blue, dia bisa bilang gini ke gue… "Nel, inget ya, ntar pas loe udah ga di syd lagi, loe nanti inget2 saat ini. Inget malem ini, kita malem ini in my car, listening to this song, and diatas sono ada bulan gede. Pokoknya ini memory kita ya nel.. *sigh*.."

hAUEhuAEHuAHEuaHEe.. gileeee pas gue dibilangin gitu, ga kukuuuuuuuuuuuuuu…gue asli ketawa abis2an HAEuAHEuAHEuaHE…. bensonn bensonnnn… very2 melankolisss.. my gudness… but it was sweet and cute. Thats our little benson… hehehehee (*ini semua gue paste ke testimonial dia ahhhh hihihi*).. i miss u sonnn!!!… my lil bro..

And the other one yg totally opposite is wira.. HAEuHAEUhAUEhhe.. man, i have fun talking abt these two. And I’m pretty sure wira reads my blog.. hehehhehe.. so kalo wira sih bener2 oppositenya benson. Yg a lot of logics and analytical stuff. But they both very sensitive in their own ways. And amazingly, both of them cant stand each other HAUEhAUEHuAEhe in brotherly way laahhh.. hehhehe.. wira ga kuat ama benson punya kesensitipan and benson ga kuat ama wira.. katanya benson, "wah.. wira dalem" hAUEhuAEHuAHEuaee… so funny… i hope gue ga diomelin nulis2 ginian  hehehe… kalo wira, i know he cares for me by doing stuff for me, an action man, and he’s very stern with me kalo gue salah pronounce something hAUEhAUEHaEe and not afraid to speak his mind kalo gue ngaco or he doesnt agree with me. Always take care of me gitu, kayak nyokap gue aja. Gue suka diomelin ama dia gara2 terlalu cuek, kalo gue nggak nutup kenceng keran dapur/kamar mandinya, kalo gue ga matiin lampu, kalo gue cut paper pake scapel ga bener, miring2. And he’s like the only person yg tanpa babibu tell me straight to my face abt myself, stuff that sometimes I ignored or dont wanna hear.. but i believe i did that to him and take care of him too… menurut gue sih HehheHEHhEHe

.. kalo benson, more a feeling man… hehehehe.. but both are sweet.. ya ga wir and son? benson cried when i left and wira gave me a kiss on my forehead. Kaget juga.. but nice… really felt like my little brothers u know.., wah gue menitikkan air mata nih *damn this korean songs!* HAUEhuAEHuaHEe..  gue asik aja nulis beginian, abis gue lagi feeling kangen and melannnnn….

eh but gue pernah ada ideas sih for my blog. I was thinking maybe sometimes I write abt some people that has been in my life. Some kind of appreciation or dedication gitu deh. Coz sometimes u cant say it to the person, for me sih, i express myself better with written words. A writer gitu loh hehehehe.. Gue cuma feel like I want to say wat I feel, how I am grateful of that person di blog gitu. Biar bisa lebih bebas. So… this thing kayaknya gue bakalan do… things like wat i had written for wira ama benson yg diatas. Some more coming.. hehehe… kayaknya sih kalo mo nulis gituan beneran mesti sambil dengerin lagu korea yg melankolis, biar lebih kena and mendayu2 bahasanya… kalo dengerin lagu ngeRap mah yg keluar malah omel2an abt that person kali hehehe… kalo pake lagu korea melan kan bisa menghayati gitu deh.


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