You are no longer a baby!

Hi Aiden,

Mommy’s here

Guess what, u are now one year old loh! Yeay Yeay! Yes, u are no longer a baby, but a toddler!

Rasanya aneh manggil kamu a little boy, coz I always refer you as my baby.

Anyways, I dunno when u can read this post. Maybe I wont let u read my blog until u are a teenager. Whoah, ngebayangin u are a teenager aja gimanaaaa gitu ya. *awas loh, ga boleh coba2 pacaran! Kalo suka sama cewe, u have to pray and puasa and consult us ok? Tapi kalo masih teenager ya a big NO-NO, u know* :P

Mommy jadi inget2 waktu ngelahirin kamu. Mommy had to push selama 2 jam supaya kamu bisa keluar sampe muka mommy biru semua. Sempet shock waktu akhirnya kamu kuar. Shock karena, wah mommy punya anak! Padahal udah nunggu2 selama 9 bulan ya tapi rasanya masih aneh meluk kamu buat pertama kali. Stunned ngeliat something yang kecil (dan idup lagi!) actually belongs to both of us, ur mom and dad hihihi.

First few months, it was super tiring. Apalagi saat kamu suka ngamuk2 karena udah bau tangan banget. I remember those days, when mommy had to rock u hard supaya berhenti nangis. Bobo pun harus digendong sampe mommy ketiduran di sofa with u didalem kain gendongan. Bisa sampe jam 4 pagi. And kalo ngamuk, cuma bisa diem kalo dikasih lagu rock praise and worship. Dulu kamu berbulan2 dengernya lagu “Yahweh”nya Michael W Smith terussssss. Karena ada anak2 kecil Africa nya disono. Pasti berhenti nangis kalo liat itu. Yah sampe skarang sih kamu masih suka nonton DVD Bang Michael. Kasian tuh si abank ampir tiap hari dalam setaon bikin konser buat kamu

As times went by, kamu smakin gede and ndut. Skarang udah kurusan karena udah aktif, tapi tetep aja tambah berat. I dunno until when I still have the strength to carry you. Dan skarang kamu punya leher!! Dulu sangking ndutnya, ga keliatan tuh leher.

Mommy juga discovered a lot of things about u. Amazed juga meskipun kamu cuma seorang baby, tapi udah keliatan karakter dan keunikannya. Like…

- kamu suka miring2in kepala kalo nonton. Dan selalu miring ke kanan
- kamu cinta banget ama dengkul mommy. Kalo liat my dengkul, pasti dicium2 dah dipeluk2. Ini dengkul nak, bukan buat nyusu…
- ga tau knapa, kamu juga suka cium tembok. Kalo bangun pagi, liat tembok disamping ranjang, pasti senyum2, berdiri dan cium itu tembok. Itu tembok nak, bukan nyokap loe.
-u also like to kiss kaca. Kalo liat mirror, dah pasti mo deket2 and kiss it pake tampang mesra segala, ur eyes jadi sayu2 gitu
- dan kamu kalo nangis atau cranky, bisa diem when mommy said, “thank u Lord Jesus bla bla bla..” alias didoain. Sometimes malah harus dibahasa roh-in baru bener2 diem. Sampe orang2 yg liat pada bilang, kamu emang baby unik.
- tiap kali mao bobo malem, mommy selalu doain kamu and setiap kali mommy mulai bahasa roh, kamu pasti mendekati and peluk mommy. Dan selama mommy bahasa roh-in kamu, kamu nemplok aja didada mommy sampe kamu ketiduran.  Mommy treasure banget those moments. Liat kamu nguap2 didada mommy, sampe akhirnya ngorok while mommy elus2 rambutmu and berbahasa roh. That’s priceless.

Yah kamu emang unik. But that’s what makes u special. Waktu kamu masih in my tummy, mommy always prayed that u are mature beyond your years. And tepat ternyata, karena muka kamu boros skali, ga kayak tampang baby

Sorry yah kalo Mommy sometimes ga sabar sama kamu. Apalagi kalo kamu udah jerit2. I realized I’m not a perfect mom. Banyak sekali kekurangannya, apalagi as a wife for your dad hehe. But I want to learn to be a supermom (and a superwife), masih jauhhhh sih, but I want to learn. Mommy terinspirasi dengan banyak supermoms out there. If they can do it, mommy juga pasti bisa. But to reach to that point, I hope u can be sabar with mommy too. We both learn together ok?

Sometimes Mommy wish that I can stay at home taking care of u, instead of being a working mom. But untuk sekarang keadaan belum memungkinkan. Yah Mommy knows that God lagi prepare mommy kesana. He knows the best time and my capacity as a mom. I’m trying and learning to be the best mom for u, so sabar sama mommy, ya?

Tiap malem mommy bacain Psalm 91 dan Galatia for u. Karena kamu udah harus mulai belajar the fruits of the spirit. U are no longer bounded by the nature of your flesh. Kamu suka liatin mommy kalo I started to speak and pray to you about the spirit. Terus senyum2 ga jelas.

Maaf ya tadi malem mommy disciplined u. Itu speaker bukan buat maenan nak. And udah saatnya kamu bobo and stop playing. And kamu nangis sejadi2nya. It hurts to see u nangis sampe kayak gitu and ga mao berhenti. But when I said sorry to u coz I had to discipline u, u finally stopped crying and fell asleep on my chest. Yes, it hurt to see u crying hard like that, but it is for your own good. Mommy now had to start disciplining u. Karena udah mulai keliatan ur flesh. That’s why mommy skarang tiap malem bacain Fruit of the Spirit to u. That you belong to Christ Jesus, u are directed by the Spirit not by your flesh.

Yah mommy sempet feel quilty disciplined u like that kmaren. And Mommy smakin ngerasa that I need the grace and wisdom from Him to learn how to be a mom. The best mom for u.  How to teach u, how to correct u. Mommy smakin convicted to pursue God lagi, karena without Him in my life, I will be clueless. I won’t know how to teach and impart a lot of values in you. But He is the Best Parent. And He can teach me many things.

Yes, my hope is in Him.

Being a mom is never easy but you are all worth it.

Mommy loves u, Aiden!

And here’s a little video of u. Yes, u didn’t cry when u were born, only cried softly just to let us know that u were ok. Just like in my dream